thoughts

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12/10/09

“Who is the man I seek to become?” This is a question my high school Morality teacher would always ask us and I would always laugh and brush it off. Today I saw an image of the man I seek to become.

I was going to mass and I walked in as an older priest was finishing a rosary with the congregation of about 15 people. The priest was sitting in the chairs with all the other people so I kneeled down a couple rows back and started to pray since I knew they must almost be done. They finished and I looked up as the alter server, a grown man, reached down to help the priest out of his chair. The priest grabbed him by two arms and they both struggled to get this old man, obviously weakened by many years, out of his chair. About 1/4 of the way up, they couldn’t handle the strain and their grip was lost. The experienced priest fell back into his chair, not enough strength to stand up on two feet. They tried once more. I think everyone in the whole church was holding their breath praying that he would get up this time. He succeeded and with much effort shuffled to the alter. He needed the assistance of the server again to take the small step up to the alter. He went through the mass without sitting down because he, and everyone else, knew that if he were to sit down, he wasn’t getting back up.

I asked myself, what will it take for me to become a man like he is?

A man who can have nothing, yet has everything. It seems as though the only strong part of his body were his arms, because they are constantly supporting him with whatever he can grab nearby to preventing his tired body from falling over. He is absolutely joyful, more than many people I know in perfect health, and he brought Jesus to us as if he were in his prime again. After a life time of living for Christ, is a tired and weak body going to stop me from worshipping the creator of the universe?

I realized if the problems of life are faced with the joy, love, and wisdom that has been given to me by the Father, I will naturally be developed into this mega-man! Life can’t be about bodily pleasure. That will end very shortly, probably even before we die. Is life about filling up with everything the world is throwing in our face telling us it’s what I need to be happy? I think the very un-manlyperson will take this route for many reasons (it’s what I’ve done for years and am learning to battle against): it is easy right now, it feels good right now, it’s what they’re telling me right now. If it is so good, why does it only make me happy right now? I want something that is good not only while I’m doing it, but also the morning after, and the day after, and 50 years after, and something that cannot stop with ability, age, or even life.

Is such a thing possible? Yes, I am living it. But who am I, I am only 2o years old! I saw it in this aged, weak, completely peaceful and joyful priest tonight. By worldly terms, he had nothing, not his health, good looks, or capacity to do anything by himself, yet he had everything. He had joy, he had peace, and he absolutely had  life! It was radiating from his whole being!

This is the man I seek to become!

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” – Lamentations 3:22-24

In Him is everything! He gives me life, without him, there is nothing worth living. YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE WORLD, GIVE ME JESUS!

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10/10/09

I was reading my journal entry from September 13th, 2009 and came across this, I felt like I should share it on the site.

“I made a keen observation the other day. If someone knows the Truth, as I do, but chooses not to follow, I think it would be fair to say they are living a lie. They are not participating in [the fullness of] reality, because reality consist of truth, and where there in no truth, there is a lack of reality.”

The world consists of truths: gravity, math (i.e. 2+2=4), right and wrong. What if I am to say 2+2=5, and really believed it. Would I be crazy, or would it be acceptable because it is the way I think and it is ok, even if it isn’t what you think?

Through natural reason, we can realize there is right and wrong in the world. It is wrong to kill someone, it is right to help an elderly woman up the stairs. Where does this natural ability to tell right and wrong come from? What is the standard to which all things are compared? Why do some people have a greater ability to recognize  right and wrong? Where does the the difference exist between Mother Theresa and Ted Kaczynski? Is there a difference or did they just think differently and thats ok?

Is there objective truth? The world today tends to tell us, “whatever you think and want to do is ok because you are different and what is right for you may not be right for someone else and vice-versa.” Why is there right and wrong? Does it exist? If it does, where does it come from?

What is the standard to which all else can be measured?

Something to think about today, and everyday.

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1/10/09

I was praying the Sorrowful mysteries of the Rosary last night and got lost in a thought. I am so happy all the time, yet it is because of me that Jesus went to the cross. Obviously, He went for all of us, but He would have gone…just for me…or just for you.

Jesus was in so much grief in the garden that he actually started to sweat blood. He got beat down in public, then dragged our cross up a hill so he could be nailed to it. If anyone would have been a viable candidate to die of a broken heart, I think it would have been Jesus.

So my question is, was there joy in the cross for Jesus?

I go through most of my days, no matter what is happening, with an extreme sense of happiness. Even if there is stuggle, I know that it can be overcome and will be overcome; and even more, that I will grow from the situation- that is where I find my joy.

My argument is that Jesus, although heart broken, was very joyful during the Passion. By His cross He was redeeming the world, and through Him, the faithful could truly rejoice and be glad.

I’d be interested to hear what other think or have heard.

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